Anxious

Man always crushes my hopes but I’ve loopholes. The most important one is me being a human being. Such a petty fragile human! This is self-pity. This is me writing while I face a writer’s block. I’ve gone deep into this nasty abyss called life and this chasm does not let me write. It’s stripping me of my powers one by one.

I am a human so it’s natural when I nurture the false expectations I develop from my loved ones. I always tell myself to stay miles away from these absurd expectations, they never make sense. ONLY EXPECT FROM YOUR CREATOR YOU DARNED LOSER!!!

Anyway, the loophole sometimes takes over me and then the inevitable happens, these beloved people make me fall harder than every last time, and most importantly, they make me hopeless again.

My hope is in God. On the contrary, this ephemeral life and its people and those close to me i.e. “people”, I don’t have hopes from them, they’ve turned me into a hopeless piece of trash!

On the brighter side, this is a blessing in disguise as these people are the ones who remind me that I’ve gone in the wrong direction again!

© Soiba

Photo: Google images

16 Comments Add yours

  1. My friend I am sorry you’re going through this. You are never worthless. If God made you, (and we know He did) you have amazing and wonderful value!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. soiba says:

      Yes so true and that is why hope is in God. Thank you so much for your kindness 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. jonicaggiano says:

    I have had writers block
    before and it will pass my friend. Please don’t forget everyday to tell yourself God does love you and you are definitely lovable. Things will get better, I have a lot of anxiety too. I will say a prayer right now for you. Sending prayers for love, hope, blessings and for the words to flow. ❤️ love Joni 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

    1. soiba says:

      Dear friend, your comment just made my day! Thank you for your prayers and empathy. I’m honoured to have read this 🙂
      Blessings and prayers for you.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. jonicaggiano says:

        It was my pleasure and I know my prayer was heard. Thank you for your prayers and blessings for we can never have too many. Love ❤️ Joni

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Your last paragraph is very powerful ✨ anything that convinces you against your worth is untrue. I have had to surrender multiple times in to not writing and I emerged so much better, stronger in being myself. I wish the same for you – that you see, feel, perceive the magic you are and only you can be. Whatever that looks like 💛 nobody has the power to take that away from you. Much Love.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. soiba says:

      This motivated me dear friend, thank you for such lovely thoughts. And yes I am trying to tread on this path. Thanks a lot, more power to you ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. dronstadblog says:

    As always, I am late to the party, but still, I am here to say that you, My Commander in Quill and a dear friend, you are just having a break, or your mind is, and after you have rested long enough, the creative tides will flow again. It’s something that happens to everybody, so the next time you start writing, keep that habit and write every day, even if you delete the page afterward, you actually did something, and that’s more than everyone else who didn’t write at all.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. soiba says:

      Hi Commander, loved to read this from you. So when you put it this way, I automatically feel great 🙂 I actually try the deletion tactic too and it works. Thank you for your kindness and being here.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. dronstadblog says:

        Or, just cut the segment that doesn’t work on to another document. Perhaps you can paste it in some other project, or develop that one into something substantial. We all make mistakes, but we all learn from them.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. soiba says:

        Useful piece of advice! Yes everything has a reason hidden behind, even mistakes.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. lorriebowden says:

    Boy can I FEEL this one! I LIVE this one!! As I am coming out of a very similar place, I think, your words touch me in ways that are hard to express. Just a simple “Thank You” is in order…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. soiba says:

      Thank you to you too. Blessings and love ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. lorriebowden says:

        Right back to you💜💜

        Liked by 1 person

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