Sunset

I am an absurd introvert. People close to me are the ones I value and the ones who make me feel like an extrovert when I’m around them. But the society in which I live in continues to pull me stronger into its nauseous gravitational field. People scare me nonetheless; I’m forced to be fake with them and have meaningless conversations with them. I wonder if the purpose of my life is so insignificant that the ones I don’t wanna cross paths with, keep  blocking my way purposely and I must let them exploit me because, well, you know, the precious society doesn’t allow my robotic-self to perform otherwise!

Sometimes, I just don’t get it. What am I doing here? Suffering silently and letting people get the best of me has taken me nowhere except inside the gates of anxiety and depression. Whenever I think I’ve gotten closer to HIM, whenever I feel things have started making sense, gravity pulls me again and every other time, deeper into its roots.

Things become vague again – I become fake again – Hopelessness starts finding its way again.

As the sun sets,

My hope does too;

The orange rays left beyond

vanishing within minutes

My soul takes seconds

Shutting down…

Loss of breath…

Until fresh breeze

Cuts through my soul

My hope regains strength,

God sent this air

to awaken me

Once again,

He does this

Again

and

Again…

© Soiba

Photo: mine

24 Comments Add yours

  1. Muntazir says:

    May Allah bless you always.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. soiba says:

      Jazak-Allah!

      Like

  2. I wish there were words that would take this away. All I know to say is that your words lets me know that I am not the only one who fells/has felt this way. You have coherently organized the thoughts that at times are slamming around in my head. So, again I don’t know what to say other than thank you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. soiba says:

      Your comments are precious dear Margaret. They soothe me and make me feel that there are people like you who are with me no matter what, who are my friends. Thank you for existing. Take care love ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. A very nice poem, Soiba.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Tatjana says:

    Remember that you aren’t obliged to please others. Learning to say no was the first step to absolute freedom I’ve experienced a couple of years back. Enjoy the beauty of being yourself. And don’t ever allow anyone ever tell you who you are isn’t worthy of love. All the best ❤

    Like

    1. soiba says:

      You’re so right dear friend. Learning to so no is something I really need to incorporate into my life. Thank you for your comment. Stay blessed and happy ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Nathi says:

    Soiba, I feel your words! I have been there and all I can tell you is, it gets worse before it gets better. Stay strong, my friend!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. soiba says:

      Thank you for the motivation Nathi 🙂
      Stay happy!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Nathi says:

        Anytime! Take care 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  6. magarisa says:

    Again, and again, and again. So relatable, Soiba. Lots of love to you. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. soiba says:

      Thank you Mags ❤
      Hope you’ve been doing well and keeping safe xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. magarisa says:

        You’re welcome, Soiba.
        I’m doing well, thanks.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. asthaisha says:

    Nice poem ❣️❣️

    Liked by 1 person

  8. God bless you Soiba! May you be encouraged.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. soiba says:

      Aameen. Blessings to you and your family 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. soiba says:

      Thanks 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I felt being in flow with your thoughts

    Liked by 1 person

    1. soiba says:

      Thank you 🙏

      Liked by 1 person

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