I avoid situations because I’m a coward. “Everything’s in control, my heart is throbbing.” ” Fights, boy why am I still alive?” I don’t know maybe it’s my mind, maybe we all are just our minds. I know I’ve started to sound absurd by now but I think I’m a coward because I’ve got nothing to say in my defense even if I have a strong case. The reason being my tongue. I’ve been hearing and observing since childhood what words out of your mouth do to a person they’ve been pointed at.
They change everything; they can inspire you, dispirit you and hurt you like hell. But can you take them back?
This fear is one of the reasons behind my silence. I found my silence in my mother’s womb. I’ve always wondered if this world is a right place for me and after thinking and thinking I leave it to God because HE knows why I am here. I’m just a teeny part of his puzzle but this struggle, nerve wrecking anxiety and being myself makes me fall in love with death all over again.
Photo: Andraz Lazic